Entry 3

After we ate all the bacon from Visby, we realized that we forgot to take care of the pigs we already had, and they all died. So now, there was no bacon. I believe they called that the second Great Bacon Shortage of 934. And unlike the Visby one, this one was actually great. By which I mean horrible. For some reason, all the chumps from Paaviken are vegetarian, so we couldn't have taken bacon from them. While we were all cursing the deliciousness of bacon, the lightbeards from Visby sent a raiding party to get their bacon back. Why it took them 3 months to do so, we don't know, but obviously it was already gone. So, instead of taking the bacon we already ate, they tried to burn Dorming down. Again. While fighting them, one of them smashed my sword with a warhammer, but then hit himself in the leg when I dodged his next stroke. Then, someone with a machine crossbow or something shot 15 arrows into my new shield, four of which went into strengthening crossbeams. Out of nowhere, a throwing axe thudded into the cap, dislodging it and making my shield look lame. Of course, right after that, the guy with the crossbow started shooting fire bolts, which promptly caught my shield on fire. After all that destruction, I was left with a battleaxe and a seax. After fighting through a dozen lightbeards, I finally reached the crossbowman, who was winding up for another round of arrows. I picked up his bow and smashed it over my knee. He drew his longsword, but by then I had thrown him down the hill into the bog. I heard a splash and looked down to see an alligator across the swamp and our little bowman trying frantically to free his boots from the mud. I didn't stay to see what happened next. The lightbeards were retreating into the woods, but someone had smashed my sword, and they were gonna pay for that. We chased them all the way back to Visby, and we started smashing things.  Warriors from Paaviken showed up as reinforcements, but the Vikings of Breasemis were close on their tails as well. After realizing that they were horribly outnumbered, (they had been casting people down the Hill of Unloved Sons for centuries), they rounded up the civilians, got on their longships, and sailed away. My guess was that they went to Köpingsvik, but they left their towns full of supplies we could use to build our Darkbeard empire. Here's the third thing you should know about Vikings: Their goal is conquest.