Entry 2

Before the smiths from Dorming gave me my weapons, they got some mages to inscribe it with magic runes that would keep me safe from harm and whatnot. Every inscription was the same except for one word, and that was the type of weapon. For example, the inscription on my axe read: By the Power of Odin, the Berserker shall rain destruction with this axe and shall never be slain while wielding it. My swords inscription read: By the Power of Odin, the Berserker shall rain destruction with this sword and shall never be slain while wielding it. I'm pretty sure that that would piss the gods off more than make them help me, but whats done was done and the weapons themselves were pretty awesome. The week after my weapons were gifted to me during my Ṳberparty (Ṳberjarl party), the lightbeards raided us again. I thought we were winning, until afterwards when I turned around Dorming was on fire and the ships were floating away. We managed to row out and get one of them, which we used to chase after the second one, but they had set that one on fire and we couldn't salvage it. Now I was getting mad. My shield was in splinters, one of them had ripped my tunic all the way down the front (it was my favorite tunic) and they stole the smoked salmon I was going to have for dinner. That night, I took a party of my best warriors to Visby. We snuck into their smokehouse, which was filled, top to bottom, with hickory smoked, honey glazed, maple coated bacon. There was some ham and stuff too, but we were there for the bacon. Each one of us had large burlap sack, which we stuffed full of bacon. Bacon bacon bacon. We cleaned out the whole smokehouse and left them a few cabbages to remember us by. Then we left. After I treated the colonies to a feast of bacon and mead, we went back to Visby to see what was going on. We emerged from the forest to see the entire town in disarray. There were people with signs that said things like "Kill the Darkbeards!" and "Wheres the bacon?" Apparently some of them had some crazy notion that we had taken their bacon. Which we had. The guys who were supposed to have been guarding the smokehouse was being chased by an angry mob, with the classic torches and pitchforks. I believe they called that the Great Bacon Shortage of 934. Of course, the shortage only applied to Visby, and it wasn't really that great. We were feasting on that bacon for 3 months! Here's another thing you need to know about Vikings: THEY NEED THEIR MEAT!