Entry 9

The Jeep's engine sputtered. "Dritt," growled Birgir. The truck rolled to a stop, jerking everyone forward as the wheels stopped spinning. "We're out of gas," Albin muttered. "How could we be out of gas!" exclaimed Jorgen. "We had three quarters of a full tank when we left the house, and we've only been going for two hours!" Even I understood this wasn't right, what with me being from thousands of years ago. There was a strange smell in the air, sharp and pungent, almost like... "Get out of the car!" I roared, grabbing Birgir and Albin and kicking the door open. I lept away from the car and landed in the cold snow. It got in my shirt and shoes, stuck in my hair and beard, and generally made itself a nuisance. Jorgen followed out of the car, breaking through the window to land on top of me. My breath left my lungs and I let out a huge fart. Albin lost it, cackling like a complete maniac. Birgir facepalmed and shook his head. Jorgen jumped back and began to laugh. Just then, the car erupted into flame and Albin screamed as he went down under a barrage of snow. The Big One was back, and furious. He blasted Jorgen full in the face with another shot of snow, and Jorgen fell back, snowing shooting up into the air as his body slammed into it. Albin stuck his head out of his pile and struggled to free the rest of his body, but the Big One blasted him again and he stopped moving. Birgir had freed his gun from the burning wreckage of the Jeep and began to fire it at the Big One, but it was fruitless. The Big One turned to me and smiled a wicked smile, filled with death and destruction, the coals widening as he let out a huge screech. I smiled back and flung my axe straight into its face, spinning with such force that it could have cut down three trees in one shot. It took him square in his carrot nose, slicing it in half and the continuing to the rest of his face. It hit him with so much force that his mouth coals came off. The snow began to slough of his face and he shuddered. The cold air seemed to slow everything as he fell to the ground and burst into giant drifts of snow. My axe remained embedded in the largest one, where his carrot nose stuck in two pieces. I pulled the axe out of the snow pile and raised it above my head. "I! AM! RAGAR! THE BERSERKER!" The sky thundered and lightning flashed, the Jeep exploded, and the Big One's snow piles sunk deeper into the ground. Jorgen and Albin burst out of their icy tombs, emulating my scream. "THE BERSERKER!" Birgir joined in, adding his voice to the cacophony of sound. "THE BERSERKER!" The sky itself seemed to echo the same words down, as Odin and the other Gods celebrated their victory over the Giants and Demons. I knew who I was, then and there, and why I existed. I was Ragar, born of Gods, and destined to bring victory of the enemies of Old Norway.